Am I?

Sometimes I feel like I'm not who I truly want to be. I usually feel whole, like I know who I am. But then I'll sit and think about what I really would do if I wasn't so afraid. I think that if I was really who I am inside to be, I might be a better person. Sometimes I let my friends get to me, I say things, however minor, that I don't think I would really say. If I was brave enough I would speak my mind loud an clear, but since I'm not, I wait till night and I scream everything to my pillows, soundlessly, in my head. It's something that I don't want to keep inside, but I do, because I cant bring myself to do anything else. I notice how people, including myself, put on acts for others. It's not uncommon I know, but still its something that makes me think. You always hear people say, “You should always be yourself, and not change for anyone.” But did those people ever think of how difficult that is? Did they actually go through experiences to make them? Or are they just a production of what someone else wrote? I still haven't figured that out, or how to become the person hiding inside. If I were truly honest with myself, I might be disappointed in what I've accomplished. Though I wouldn't be too sorrowful, I know I've done a lot of good things. But if I could change myself, I would change to the real me.

Best Friends

Best friends is a strange idea isn't it? I mean you have this friend that you treasure above all others - or something. That one person you always have to talk to, to hang out with, or just to joke around with. I guess it bothers me to think about it because I've had very few experiences with "Best Friends" I can count on one hand how many best friends I've had. Is that a bad thing? I've had 4 best friends, one that I was friends with for over 7 years. But then that friendship ended, and truthfully I think that because I had that one friend for so long when I was trying to make new friends I didn't know how to do it. So maybe, not have a B.F, or having lots of B.F.'s, can make you a better person (socially).

Personally, I wish I didn't need the verification of a B.F., but I do. I mean I have lots of friends, and I'm not particularly lonely, but a B.F. is nice. They always have your back, keep all your secrets, and what-not. In that sense I guess I do have a B.F., but never really seen it that way. Hmm, just felt like talking about this, it really is an strange idea. At least it makes me think. :)

New... Year? 0.o

It's almost New Year, and to tell the truth I'm excited. I want this year to be over, can anyone else say 2010 was the worst year ever? I can. Well 2011 comes and I have the highest of hopes for it.

I want to draw more

I hope this year isn't as miserable :)

I'm going to try to live my life to the fullest

And all that happy stuff :P

Idk, I was bored, decided to post something on this, because I can. HA! :)

Happy New Year.

Stand

Every day something new
But I don't know what to do
Lay on my back and close my eyes
Sometimes I'll watch the skys
Can be tears
But then theres laughs
No matter what got to keep sane

Then I'll remember that things aren't that bad
All it is, is a gift from above
I cant help smile down on my knees
I get the strangth to get back in the race
Grab life by the horns
Run straight through the thorns

I know it will be hard
There will be days when I'll want to fall down
I'll close my eyes and consentrate
And get right back to my place
Things will never be easy for anyone
But its no use being glum

If you remember that you are loved
Even if it doesn't seem like
Just ask for strangth and you'll recive
And then you'll be able to get up
You might still feel the pain but it will pass
So just remember to stand

one of my favorite fan pics i made TOKKA!

ooOOooOOooOOooOOKKKKKKKK O.o"

IDK IKD KDI KID DKI and im not gonna put the last one kinda scary O.o"
YAH YAH YAH GET ON WIT IT I KNOW!!
ok ok ok i will GALY GOSH



UMMMMMMM Purpose 4 dis post NONE lol im just really bored right now lol
yaaaaaaaaaa ummmmm
i havent posted like anything yaaaaa so I AM NOW YUMMMMM


kk so TODAY is umm a wensday YA wensday!!!!
and today i get to go hang out wit ppl in my church were going 2 DI lol to buy stuff
yea I invited my BESTEST BUDDY EVA 2 go'es wit me!!!! YAY ALI!!!!
yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
she gonna show up after she done wit karate!! YAY ALI!!
SHE IS A ALPHA PURPLE AND THAT IS AMAZINGLY AWESOMELY AMAZING!!!!
ya i got to like almost an alpha white lol >,< and that is like loooooowwwww
yea then i quit because of time
but anyway that no matter just that ali is awesome 4 getting that far
YAYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAY ALI ME <3 ERS UUUUUUUU
hehe lol anyway ya now that im done being weeeeeeeeiiiiiiirrrrrrrrddddddd 0.o" lol
kk ima go now yea im done talkin 0.o"
lol i bet u like GO AWAY NOW T.T ok I go lol



^.^ hehehe










hehe zim awesome!!!

IDK 0.o"

Noticed something I haven't been on in like ummmmmmm..............................
lets just say........forever
anyway have you seen Corpse Bride??? BEST MOVIE IN THE UNIVERSE!!!! luv luv luv luv it!
anyway........... uh I got a phone, like a cell phone!!
today lets see umm well theres 30 days till school gets out
uhhhhh
Im a guy in the play 7brides 4 7 brothers yea im benjamen the 2nd oldest brother.
Uhhh nothing much really, at least not wat u want to hear regular oppsessions that change as much as the days do.
Really idk wat to say just thought i put a new thing on here give u ppl somthin to read.
lol
kk then goodbye









^^^^ panda ^.^